I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
