Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
