Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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