If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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