Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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