The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
