Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
