why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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