Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
