just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
