whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
