I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
