I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
