i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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