i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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