I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i need to put some appletini on your dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
