I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
