There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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