i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
