That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
