we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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