You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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