are you still at the devil's house?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
