You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
