I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
