my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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