I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
