Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
is it fun? or sober?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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