dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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