When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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