i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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