I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
