was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
