It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
