Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
