Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
