I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
