What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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