32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Randomize
