I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
