please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
