May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
