I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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