ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
