I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
