I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
