Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
