One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
