There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
