i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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