Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
