areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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