So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
