Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
