It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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