For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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