What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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