Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
