So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
